Why We Should Believe Survivors of Violence

Why Do People Often Not Believe Survivors?

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The main reason is patriarchal and misogynistic bias. Under this worldview, women's bodies are perceived by society as objects for pleasure and convenience — and therefore their autonomy can be disregarded. Children are conditioned to think this way from an early age: girls are taught to be pretty and obedient, not to be aggressive, and to accept harassment as a compliment, even when it makes them uncomfortable; boys are taught that they have the right to impose themselves on others and are not held responsible for their actions.

In adulthood, this pattern repeats — with far more dangerous consequences. This established order of things usually goes unchallenged, particularly by those considered to be “objects” in it, since challenging it disrupts the patriarchal hierarchy.

 

When it comes to violence against men, patriarchal biases operate here too — under these norms, a man is expected to be strong, and acknowledging oneself as a victim supposedly diminishes one's standing in the same hierarchy. In both cases, the cause is the patriarchal system maintained by gender stereotypes.

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There are also additional psychological factors that explain disbelief toward survivors, including:

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• Positive bias toward perpetrators due to their good reputation and greater social capital relative to survivors;

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• Social pressure, especially in environments where calling out sexism is not the norm (for example, social groups dominated by men, or where patriarchal narratives prevail);

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• "Just world" beliefs, which give rise to victim-blaming — specifically, the belief that bad things happen to people who are somehow at fault, or who were not careful enough.

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What Does Disbelief Lead To?

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For Survivors

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Imagine a situation where a survivor simply shares a traumatic event — not even publicly. She has spent some time gathering the courage to make the difficult choice to open up and be vulnerable, only to hear something like: “Are you sure you’re not exaggerating? Maybe you misunderstood?” or “Come on, why are you getting so worked up about that?” The person is left feeling isolated and as though her experience is somehow invalid — as if it is not real in itself, but requires proof and evidence. Think about how humiliating that is: first to have your bodily autonomy and dignity disregarded, and then to have that disregard met with dismissal. What is more, hearing this from someone they trusted, a person may genuinely come to believe that nothing bad happened — and go on to endure the consequences of that experience, and others like it, for the rest of their life, despite their suffering. Note that none of this has yet played out in public — no one has been held accountable, there are no courts or investigations involved — this is simply about basic human support.

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Biases against survivors erode trust between people and diminish others' experiences. It is worth keeping in mind that, unfortunately, no one is immune to violence, and there are no guarantees that any one of us will not one day become a survivor ourselves. By cultivating trust in survivors, we create an atmosphere of acceptance and safety within our social circles and personal relationships. This also means that if you ever need it, you too will be able to count on understanding and support. It brings us closer together and makes us stronger.

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For Perpetrators

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Unfortunately, in our society today, perpetrators more often enjoy a greater degree of trust than survivors do. As a result, people defend them, justify their actions, and try to shift the blame onto the survivor. Very often, after all, the perpetrator is not some abstract stranger — they are someone's best friend, father, teacher, or colleague, someone who “would never do something like that.” And so the effect of ignoring the feelings and experiences of survivors is, unfortunately, only to benefit perpetrators: it relieves them of responsibility and thereby grants them a kind of unspoken, unacknowledged permission to act the same way in future. The absence of accountability means that violence will repeat itself, and may even escalate in its openness and severity.

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For Society

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Disbelief toward survivors damages society as a whole. When we ignore and dismiss their experiences and choose to give more credence to perpetrators, we are effectively tolerating violent behaviour. Even when it does not involve extreme cases like rape or physical assault, turning a blind eye to ostensibly minor situations still reinforces a culture of violence in society. Because it begins precisely with what seem like trivial things: an unwanted touch on public transport, an unsolicited explicit comment, a “friendly” slap on the backside. If no one points out that such behaviour is unacceptable, the perpetrator feels they can get away with it and continues — gradually allowing themselves more. If a man can whistle at a woman on the street, he probably figures nothing will happen if he also grabs her. If that too goes unchallenged (or only the woman is judged for it), the perpetrator feels entitled to escalate further — until, for example, he rapes an intoxicated person. Violence is normalised gradually, almost imperceptibly.

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What About the Presumption of Innocence?

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One of the main arguments against unconditional belief in survivors is an appeal to the presumption of innocence. The reasoning goes: if we believe someone — especially strangers — without any evidence, it could lead to false accusations and abuse of the process by women.

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However, when we look at the actual picture, we find that:

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• fewer than 40% of women who have experienced violence seek any help at all, especially from state institutions;

• fewer than 10% report to the police;

• only 2% of rape complaints result in a conviction for the perpetrator.*

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This is not because survivors are making things up, exaggerating, or trying to damage someone's reputation — the statistics that show violence to be extremely widespread disprove that: one in three women experiences it in her lifetime. It happens primarily because of social stigma and bias that leads people to disbelieve survivors. Coming forward is a very risky step for them, one that can end in victim-blaming, mockery, or even further violence. If we invoke the presumption of innocence every time someone finally finds the courage to tell their story, survivors will have no chance of being heard at all.

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So when we say that survivors must be believed, we do not mean that we are immediately convicting someone and demanding punishment without trial or investigation. First and foremost, it is a call to hear and take seriously those who have always been ignored and silenced. This practice is actually much closer to “hearing both sides” — as sceptics so often demand.

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More about stereotypes regarding survivors and perpetrators can be found in our article “Top 5 Myths About Anti-Harassment Movements.”

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What Does Believing Survivors Look Like in Practice?

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• First and foremost, it means literally believing them: if someone has opened up to you, do not rush to question what they have said, offer your own conclusions, or give advice. Sometimes it is enough simply to listen and be present.

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• Where possible, try to create an environment of acceptance with minimal tolerance for victim-blaming: call out friends, colleagues, and family members if they express unacceptable views or condemn survivors.

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• Offer survivors help — practical or emotional — but without imposing or coercing. It is better simply to let the person know you support them without any conditions or additional explanations, and that you have the capacity for some concrete action. This might mean helping them find housing or a therapist, or assisting with filing a police report or a court claim. It might also simply mean conversation, spending time together, or being present.

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* Facts and figures: Ending violence against women. UN Women, 2025 — https://www.unwomen.org/en/articles/facts-and-figures/facts-and-figures-ending-violence-against-women