< Translator’s note: The original formatting of the stories has been preserved. The translations aim to remain as close as possible to each author's original wording and expression.
I was 17. I was preparing to apply to university and was looking for future classmates on “VKontakte,” which was still legal at the time. That’s how I met a guy who blackmailed me with my intimate photos for the next 6 years.
It all started as innocent flirting. I didn’t plan to date him, I had no feelings for him, and I sent the photos of my own free will. The first time he threatened to send my photos to my friends and family was when he didn’t get into the same university as me and demanded that I give up my state-funded spot there and enroll in his university. The second time was when I tried to end the relationship with him. Even after I got a boyfriend, that guy forced me to take new intimate photos regularly so as “not to upset him, otherwise my boyfriend would find out what a slut I am.” And so it went, over and over again.
Once, I didn’t reply to his message in time, and my partner received several of those photos with a telling caption. I felt like the ground was falling out from under me when, instead of lashing out at that guy, my partner said it was my own fault. And the fact that I was 17 doesn’t excuse me.
I was depressed for about six months, deleted all my social media accounts, but then reactivated them because I needed them for school. And immediately, a fake page with my name and my photos—including intimate ones—was added as a friend. Depression again, fear of being judged by others, feeling dirty, deleting my social media accounts. Later, he created an account under my name on some Russian dating site, where the profile was filled out as if by a lesbian. Of course, with my intimate photos.
I’m 24 now. I haven’t considered myself guilty or a slut for a long time, and I take the distribution of my photos much more lightly than I did back when I was 17. But every time I get a message from a fake account with a link to my intimate photos and a comment from him, my hands shake.
Anonymous author; story shared in 2021 as part of the “16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence” campaign