< Translator’s note: The original formatting of the stories has been preserved. The translations aim to remain as close as possible to each author's original wording and expression.

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This is a story of a traumatic, crazy relationship. At first, we talked online; he was my first love. Silky hair to the shoulders, mutual interests, soft voice, all were very enticing. At first, over the phone, he constantly asked me where I was and with whom, then started forbidding me to spend time with friends. I was underage, trusted him a lot, and told him everything.

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Then, he moved to my town, physically prohibited from going to my tutoring classes (I was about to start university). Sometimes he could shove me. We dated secretly from my mom, she realized what kind of man he was right away.

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When he moved closer to me, he lived off of my pocket money (I thought that it would be wrong to leave a person with his trouble), and he followed me around.

 

One time, we met at our place to talk everything through and separate calmly, he defiantly took a handful of pills and swallowed them in front of me and washed them down with beer. I saved him then. An ambulance didn’t come. After that, we met one more time, he raped me in a forest when I said that I was leaving him. I started having hallucinations for half a year. Later, he threatened to spread my nudes. Uploaded a video of us having sex to a porn site. Luckily, the video was of a horrible quality, and the man didn’t look great in it.

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I was with my friends then and told him about that. They would always take me directly to the entrance of my house, knowing what they knew. 

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One time, he was waiting next to the entrance, he wanted to beat me up. However, my friends didn’t leave too far and were able to protect me. It happened 7 years ago, but I’m only now free from him. 

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Today, I can build relationships, have sex, and live to the fullest. Before, I had several years of therapy, so much money was spent on the psychologist, and I would accept myself. Now, my life is great, goddamn him. ;)

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Lilia; story shared in 2022 as part of the campaign “16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence.”