< Translator’s note: The original formatting of the stories has been preserved. The translations aim to remain as close as possible to each author's original wording and expression.
As a teen, I had a boyfriend, and we dated for two weeks, after which I realized that I didn’t want a relationship with that person, so we broke up. He was offended that I “ditched” him so quickly, and for some time, he tried to get me back, until he had a chance to get revenge. Our mutual friend was having a birthday party, and we celebrated at a lake outside the city. There were many people, including my ex.
Because of the heat and alcohol, I lost consciousness during the party. My ex picked me up and carried me away from the people. While I was unconscious, he undressed me and planned to rape and film that. I was lucky, as he got to my underwear, he saw that I had a period, and that scared him away; he stopped. I stayed a virgin.
I wouldn’t regain consciousness for some time, so our mutual acquaintance and my ex brought me back to my parents on a taxi. Afterwards, my ex and his friends shared the video and photos of me naked and unconscious at first at our school, and then with our peers around the town (at the time I lived in a small town). For some time, I didn’t have any friends; no one wanted to be around me, and I was actively bullied at school.
It’s been 7 years since that incident, but I still live with the feeling that I am dirty and unworthy of kind treatment. I’m constantly followed by the feeling that everyone around me will find out that I’m a horrible, gross person and will turn on me.
Then, I was 14, and everyone told me that I was the one to blame because I drank alcohol, had relationships (even though the maximum intimacy was kissing), and came to a party that my ex also attended. I never told my parents what happened to me while I was unconscious and what happened later at school. Even now, I find it hard to tell this story to my closest people in full, because I can face judgment that I wouldn’t be able to bear.
Anonymous author; story shared in 2022 as part of the campaign “16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence.”